I lost my job five days ago, oh no, logic says, you cannot lose something you never have. So I didn't actually lose anything, I just didn't get what I thought I was supposed to have, and the reason why I felt like I've lost something was because I've had own it even before it was really mine. In that case, it is now then accurate to say I lost because I wasn't able to win something. I assumed victory and I missed it. See how I complicate things?
After a month stay in Quezon City, I am back to Cavite, with nothing but a bag full of dirty laundries and my-ever-so-dwindling self-confidence on the verge of vanishing. And the world wasn't even that unkind, yet it seemed that it had already knocked me down to the ground. Okay, I exaggerated (like again!). I admit, I wept for few minutes, but not entirely because I know that I will be soon reclassified to the unemployed, but, it is more of the idea of "not being of use" again. I assure you, if you're a human conscious of your existence, it is one dreading feeling to know you are somewhat, kind of, sort of, useless.
Well, but just like what my B said, my past so-called "achievements" won't be disregarded or forgotten only because I failed now, and there's still hope for me because the world won't end here, and that I still have the chance to make things better, and you know what, I believe him.
Lately, he has been the only person that can pacify my nerves, the sun that warms every aspect of my life (you all know where this is going but I'll tell it anyway). I have come to this point that Iwanted dreamed of settling down - not that I already have this conviction that it will be us in the end - it is just that he makes me think like it is possible for me to be really with someone for a lifetime. I had already given up the thought that it could transpire ever in my life. But I was wrong. Well, it seems.
After a month stay in Quezon City, I am back to Cavite, with nothing but a bag full of dirty laundries and my-ever-so-dwindling self-confidence on the verge of vanishing. And the world wasn't even that unkind, yet it seemed that it had already knocked me down to the ground. Okay, I exaggerated (like again!). I admit, I wept for few minutes, but not entirely because I know that I will be soon reclassified to the unemployed, but, it is more of the idea of "not being of use" again. I assure you, if you're a human conscious of your existence, it is one dreading feeling to know you are somewhat, kind of, sort of, useless.
Well, but just like what my B said, my past so-called "achievements" won't be disregarded or forgotten only because I failed now, and there's still hope for me because the world won't end here, and that I still have the chance to make things better, and you know what, I believe him.
Lately, he has been the only person that can pacify my nerves, the sun that warms every aspect of my life (you all know where this is going but I'll tell it anyway). I have come to this point that I
Presently, I am trying to work at home. Disposing few of my clothes to earn some as I start from scratch. I'm all rosy about everything despite all these despites! I don't know where all of this positivity is coming from yet I am ready to start anew and I hope he won't get tired of being my little sunshine for until, umm, forever? Did I just really use that word?
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